2012 In Review & Film on Matt McGoff

Year-end greetings to each and all. In 2012, life came on thick and fast. I couldn't live it and write about it at the same time. 

On Christmas Day, I received notice of a new film about my art school roommate, Matthew McGoff, who died in 2010. The film was created by my friend John Thornton. Matthew lived an intense, messy and short life, much like the painter Amadeo Modigliani. 

The film is masterful, John's best work to date. Matthew would have loved it, and this is quite a distinction. Matt was a focused, driven man. Only 2% of life on earth met with his approval.

Okay, back to the almost-present. We began at our house in San Francisco, doing the normal stuff.

Max built this robot. He wanted it to follow him around the house, so he taped it to an electric car [bottom].

Max's school lunch, a Misa production.

Max inside the Space Needle, Seattle, Washington

Our big change this year was to try living in a new city. In January, we visited Seattle, Washington.

In February we visited the California Railroad Museum in Sacramento.  Max is still crazy for trains.

In April, Misa became a citizen of these United States, in a ceremony at the Paramount Theater in Oakland. This building is quite dramatic, and the ceremony moved me. 

On this day, a thousand people from more than one hundred countries took the oath of citizenship. 

The Master of Ceremonies greeted the new citizens in more than eight languages. They stood and recited their oath, then watched a taped speech by President Obama. 

Shadows, Yerba Buena Park, San Francisco

We decided to move to San Diego. The rest of the spring was spent getting ready to go, and saying good-bye to San Francisco.

Francis Scott Key Elementary School

Christian Wignall stops all cafe conversation by mounting his Penny-Farthing.

Max and a friend from Japanese school

We arrived in San Diego on July 1. The environment was radically different for us. For one thing, it was warm in summer. Max and I swam in the ocean at La Jolla Cove and Torrey Pines Beach. 

We explored Carmel Valley on our bicycles. Max began at a new elementary and a new Japanese school. He adjusted well and made many friends.

In November Misa voted in her first American election. We held an open house party for our neighbors and school mates. It was a great success, and we hope to do this again in 2013. 

Misa has done well driving new roads; she has always found her way home. She is teaching one regular Zumba class and filling in for other teachers.

San Diego has been good to us. The people at Max's school and at my job were especially supportive. We continue to adjust and explore and settle in. I'm working on the same art project, and I'll post more in-progress photos later in 2013. 

Happy New Year to you all. Please stay in touch. 

White Cathedral

The house we are renting in Carmel Valley is different from our house in San Francisco. It has high ceilings and lots of space. 

The greater difference is the atmosphere here, warmer and greener. The house came with an automatic sprinkler system and a gardner. This is a good thing, since both Misa and I are lousy at taking care of plants. We have the "Black Thumb."

There's a small park behind the house, where people run their dogs and throw frisbees. I'd forgotten that summer could be pleasant. In San Francisco, we ran the heat almost every day of the year, even in August. That may be hard to believe, but San Francisco has an unusual climate. Warm weather in the inland valley pulls cold fog across the city, so you only get a truly warm day a few times a year. It's like living with the thermostat stuck on 65° F.

I'm sitting in the back yard, shaded by palm trees. The fresh grass cools my bare feet. We've been here one month now. I can't be sure this place is going to work for us, in the long run. This time, here and now, may be worth all the money and work it took to get here.

Hello, San Diego

We moved into a new home in San Diego in July. It's a big change.

I did not expect to leave San Francisco or to live in San Diego. The first time I visited here, I did not like it. When I returned for a second visit, many years later, it was not my choice of destination. But the place charmed me, unexpectedly. It's hard to resist friendly people and warm weather. Later on, we decided to try living here.

We live in Carmel Valley, which opens to the ocean at Torrey Pines beach and runs eastward. The land channels pleasant ocean breezes to our neighborhood. 

Each day we work at settling in and exploring. All three of us ride bikes along a long, paved bike path through the valley. 

So far life has been good here. The big decision still scares me a little. In my past experience, stepping forward, stepping outward has always led to good things, but not always directly. I'm reminded of an article in GQ magazine that explained this issue of when to jump in life.

It strikes me that Willy survived all her epochs because she was . . . .  just better at cutting to the chase than were her companions, whoever they were. In some way, her secret has been always to decide. She decided to marry people. She decided to work. She decided to move to Lisbon. And she decided to have fun. It's the sort of honesty that one could use as fuel to motor through many different epochs in life.

Guy Martin, Travels With An Expat, GQ, March 1992

Driving Through California

We left San Francisco and drove south. I rarely left the city, so everything looked new to me. California is much more than cities and beaches. There are miles of these rolling, golden hills dotted by oak trees that look like broccoli. 

We spent a warm night in Bakersfield, then drove on to the foot of Tejon Pass, between the Tehachapi and San Emigdio Mountain ranges. These are desert mountains, and the desert terrified me for most of my life. I hated the lack of water, shade, people. It's called "desert" for a reason, after all; people are not well-suited to live here! Desert! Get out!

But something about this mountain pass excites me, visually. The mountains look soft under their yellow grass, but they are extremely steep. I expect sharp, naked rock to break through at this altitude, but it doesn't.

My knuckles were white on the wheel as we crawled over the giant anthills. I asked Misa to take photo after photo of the mountains as we passed, and she said, "You are NOT coming back here to paint pictures!" The girl knows me too well. 

At last we coasted down the long slope to the sea. I heard Joni Mitchell's song California in my head, and wondered if I'd see her standing naked on a rock.

When I grew up, there were a thousand songs about being free in California, and we all got sick of the idea, which was unfortunate. There really is a feeling of freedom and possibility here, such as I have not experienced in other places. Here it is, all this space, all this warm, fragrant air. What will you do with it?

Will you take me as I am?

Good-bye, San Francisco

1986

I first saw San Francisco in 1986. I was married and living in Dallas, Texas. My wife wanted to come see the city on a three-day weekend, and on the third day I decided to move there. We were walking on Ocean Beach, very close to the house I'd later live in. I said, "So how long do you think it will take, two years?"

"No, John, at least five years."

Exactly one year later, we rolled into town, on Columbus Day weekend. Monday night we slept in our first apartment, and enjoyed this view:

1987

For the next twenty-five years, San Francisco and I were thick, inseparable. Many months passed, without crossing a bridge out of this seven-mile square.

1988

The first apartment was across the street from Lincoln Park, where I painted many pictures.

1988

The second apartment was a few blocks further inland, and gave us views of the Golden Gate and downtown, as well as the stunning Holy Virgin Orthodox Cathedral.

1989 - with Regina Pettus and Sara Pate

Coming to San Francisco and making a life here gave me confidence. Many people attempt this and many of those who attempt it fail. The place seemed to accept me. I could think and work effectively in this unusual environment. Equally important, I was able—often by invisible means—to afford living here. On the scale of my small, ordinary life, this was a triumph of the will.

1992

San Francisco is a good place to be alone with your thoughts. The weather is almost always cold, and many people do not speak english. If you want to pace up and down on the beach and brood, you'll have plenty of space and no interruptions. 

1998

This atmosphere was perfect for me; I'm a champion brooder. In the course of these many years, I had plenty to brood about. I turned thirty, then forty, then fifty. I went through a divorce, bought a house, married again, had a baby and sent him to school. In San Francisco the normal milestones are the most difficult to achieve. If you want to ride your bicycle through downtown naked, you will be encouraged and fifty people may join you. But buying a house and having a family are so difficult that many people don't even make the attempt. 

2000

2001

Living space was especially problematic. I didn't mind this so much, as it forced me to trim down my belongings to the bare minimum. 

2002

2006

My son was upset when we told him we were leaving. He said, "I feel lucky that I lived here." I agree, and so does the rest of the world. I rarely traveled unless I was forced to, but wherever I went, in New York, London, Tokyo, people invariably nodded with admiration when they learned that I lived in San Francisco. When I explained that—at that time—I lived in a tiny apartment with no view, that I got everywhere by foot or bicycle, they shook their heads and replied, "Yes, but you get to live in San Francisco!" 

2010

They were right. It was a rich existence, worthy of its own Very Rich Hours. Good-bye, San Francisco. We'll meet again some day, and laugh at old times.

2011